Hard Day's Day.......

Yesterday was one of those " emotional rollercoasters " so beloved of the numpties who appear on various reality TV shows and who wouldn't be able to muster an original phrase between them as long as their arses point downwards. However, far from being some kind of half-cocked dawning of self-awareness, it was a real-life visit to the opposite ends of the spectrum of this business that we call show. The morning had started very brightly indeed....a ring around the theatre box offices in the tour had revealed some very encouraging sales figures indeed, and it was with a renewed sense of optimism that I got stuck in to the nuts and bolts of the day. In fact, so stuck in did I get that I realised I was in danger of becoming a sink-estate mum, as I was still sitting in my little home office in dressing gown and monogrammed sleep - shorts at half - past one in the afternoon. One speedy shower and a change of togs later, I headed out to the car with spirits buoyed by the info I'd picked up that morning. Now, one harsh reality of going on tour is that there's an absolute shitload of little things that need doing / buying / arranging / cancelling etc, and as the band and Arthur are currently freezing their nadgers off in Finland, I was the man " on point ", as they say. One of the things that needed sorting was to look at some new suit bags for the band's stage gear ( who says there's no glamour in rock 'n' roll ?! ) so I duly scooted down to Bedford to get a couple of these. Next port of call was Le Mark Adhesives in St Ives, Cambs, purveyors of fine gaffa and insulating tape to Her Majesty The Queen ( probably ). Anyone involved with the technical side of touring will tell you that the entire "live" music industry is held together with gaffa tape. Have you seen the huge great set that Muse play on which looks like three glass tower blocks ?? Gaffa tape, all of it. U2's " Claw " arena stage set ? Gaffa. Take That's " Circus " outdoor show ??? Gaffa again. Gaffa tape is the music business equivalent of the sport's trainers " magic sponge "....it doesn't look pretty and it won't last long, but it's BLOODY effective in the short term. "So where does insulating tape come in ?" I hear you ask ???? (Oh....you DIDN'T ask....). This simply ties up all your coiled cables so you don't have the spaghettifest from Hell next time you open the cable trunk. ANYWAY, I needed to go and get a load of this stuff, so I duly headed off to Le Mark, despite their efforts to foil me by having moved their premises without saying anything ! So far, so mundane....and then we get the call from the bank saying that the financial plan we'd requested from them had been knocked back, and not even by a human, either....by some random bloody computer ! Suddenly I'm on the aforementioned emotional rollercoaster, but this time I'm hurtling down the steepest slope, desperately trying to hang on to the bar and my breakfast. This is a BIG blow; cash flow on the tour is going to be absolutely vital to keep the whole thing moving, and in one fell swoop we have to totally re-think the whole process. Don't you just LOVE bankers ?? A friend of mine once said that a bank was " someone who gave you an umbrella and then took it away when it started to rain ", which I thought was dead clever and have been trying ( unsuccessfully ) to claim credit for ever since. Anyway, so we've had this kick in the biffins and I'm trying to put a positive spin on things. It doesn't work, but a chat on the phone with a couple of the other guys after their soundcheck in Finland does wonders for the old confidence, and I'm soon raring to go again. The rest of the day holds even more excitement; lighting guru Martin Rodwell is actually going to be staying with me for the first week or so of the tour as we're trying to keep our hotel costs down, and I've suddenly realised that unless he fancies the dog bed or the garage ,we're going to have to sort him out somewhere to sleep....we only moved in to the house a fortnight ago and although it's a LOT better than it was, we're still only living in a couple of rooms and are constantly searching for lost items, like the cat. As such the day finishes with a trek to B & Q, but to my horror they no longer do the
" Instant Room Decoration Kit....Just Add Water "! anymore. There's nothing else for it...Paint is going to have to occur, furniture too, and maybe even wallpaper. Said items are duly purchased, and being the ever-watchful old pro that I am I take the opportunity whilst in there to buy some bits for repairing the hanging rail in the wardrobe flight case. We now have ONE DAY to create a habitable room for Rodders, so it's out with the stepladder and the worry beads, I think.....!