Whitley Bay Playhouse Wed Aug 26th

So, Faithful Blogreader, here we are again, large as life and twice as ugly....when you're starting a new tour, there's only one way to set you up for that difficult first show, and that's to go and have a mahoosive cooked breakfast at a Morrison's supermarket cafe. It's not exactly rock and roll but, by Sooty's fur, it doesn't half hit the spot. It's a glorious day up here on the North-East coast,and the Playhouse is all refurbished and spiffy, so there's a nice, relaxed, summery vibe about the place. Of course we know it won't last...it IS the first show after all....but for now we're making the most of it. Back when dinosaurs strode the earth I used to live here, though the place has changed so much I can't even find the street where I stayed. The greatest tragedy is that the fish and chip shop which provided my staple diet back then is no longer here, and to my real sadness neither is the Spanish City amusement park, once the town's main attraction. I'd like to say that I have happy memories of long summer nights spent on the rides there, with a pretty, laughing young girl by my side, but the harsh reality is that for the entire time I lived here it was bloody freezing, and most of the North Sea seemed to seep under my door when the wind blew. Still, it's shame to see the old place gone. Back at the Playhouse, all is going well. Although it's about four months since we last did the show we've all slipped straight back into the old routine, and even new lighting dude Damian is slotting in well. Although the crew came up here last night, the band have opted to drive up today, which is a bit of a haul, but this time there's no speed - governed rattlebucket minibus to contend with; instead they're in a nice new Ford people carrier. There's a bit less space but the trade-off is that now they get to the shows before the next ice age starts, and despite the schlep up from Hertfordshire they're in good spirits. It's actually a bit of a mega-travel day for the band, as after tonight's show we all drive to Liverpool for a 9.00am load-in at the Philharmonic tomorrow morning. Further into a tour this is the kind of thing that causes much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but this early on everyone is still cloaked in a thin veneer of civility, and so this heavy schedule is met with a shrug rather than a knife between the shoulder blades. It's great to see the lads again and they all arrive looking tanned and healthy, courtesy of a brief jaunt to Fuertaventura. I'm more than a little jealous as I really wanted to go too, but a pressing appointment with the surgeon's scalpel prevented me. Still, they're all genuinely concerned and inspect my newly - repaired ( and alarmingly bald ) knee with interest before cracking on with the soundcheck, after which, unfortunately, things start to unravel a bit. First, it becomes clear that the Adelphi Hotel in Liverpool have cocked up rather spectacularly, and rather than the five single rooms for two nights that they're MEANT to give the band, there are now just two, and one's a triple. The kicker, though, is that not only will they have to cram in together but they'll have to be out of the rooms early in the morning as they've already been sold ! This, mind you, despite us having all the relevant booking forms and so on. I'd just like to digress here for a moment, if I may. Some years back there was a programme about the Adelphi on TV, one of these " fly on the wall " things. During the course of the programme's run, the Grand National at Aintree was abandoned due to a bomb scare, and everyone was evacuated, having to leave their cars locked in the racecourse. This caused a huge demand for hotel rooms in Liverpool that night as many racegoers were stranded with no means of getting home, and we watched first hand as the Adelphi rose to the occasion to help these poor souls...by putting stratospheric hikes on the room rates and charging huge sums for things like rows of mattress on the dining room floor. What was most sickening was the obvious pleasure they took when they realised that the very last nook and cranny had been sold at some scrotum-tightening cost. I vowed right then that I'd never stay there again, and have been true to my word since. This latest example of incompetence and rampant profiteering just vindicates everything I think about the place.... not that I'm bitter and twisted in any way, you understand. Anyway, hotels aside, things rapidly go from bad to worse when it then becomes clear that the new show slides for tonight and tomorrow that Den's brought with him have caused the show computer to throw a total hissy fit. They won't load at all due to either an iffy disk or some kind of file corruption, and the bottom line is that we've suddenly got about thirty minutes to put a new show together before the doors open...and that's not even taking into account what to do about Liverpool,. which is a totally different show again. Suddenly that thin veneer cracks and everyone's snappy and stressed as we try to resolve this, and I'm taken right back to those heady first days of the LAST tour where shows were being re-jigged on the hoof as Den's voice went awol.This, however,is different, as we're many miles from home with no way of getting to the computer to try and solve the problem. As ever we manage to get SOMETHING together just as doors open, but there's no way of knowing how it'll look or even if it'll work. Nothing like a nice easy start to the tour, then....it's SUCH a lovely feeling, travelling into the unknown in this way, kind of like going into Rat City wearing cheese trousers. For the first half, though, everything's fine. The band sound as great as ever, and it's a real thrill to hear them playing again. It's essentially the same show as we did in February and March, with the Beatles / Hollies / Searchers / Swinging Blue Jeans combination to kick off, and the little acoustic section after " Sound Of Silence ", and once again we see the " Bootlegs Effect " on a whole new audience ! It is, though, a show of two halves, Gary, and though the band raise their game after the break, a few technical problems start to crop up, such as non - detonating pyrotechnics and some truly mental slide programming, plus a few odd sound anomalies. I have, however, been told by some of you that I should try and focus on the big picture a little more this time round, and less on the crew side, so I'll not dwell on those things too much. I'll just let them all return to haunt me in the dark fastnesses of the interminable, lonely night as I toss and turn, tortured by the horror of the imperfect slide show. ...but I'll be fine, don't worry about me ( sniff )....So, the band, then....well, they were brilliant as usual. Anyway, enough of them, back to the and the crew....! Tonight's been a bit of fraught first show, but the crowd response, as ever, has been superb. One of the ushers tells us he even saw a woman crying as the band played " You'll Never Walk Alone ". Personally I thought they played it quite well, actually...crap jokes aside, though, the end result is that another town has fallen beneath the wheels of the Bootleg Sixties bandwagon, or some equally lumpy metaphor. We pack up the truck with a bit of trepidation about tomorrow....it's a big, big show, we've got no visuals for it yet, and a three - hour drive tonight to get there. So THAT'S alright, then...