Morecambe The Platform Fri Feb 25th

A long old run up to Morecambe for Nick and I in the equipment vans this morning, but the roads are unusually clear, and apart from having a struggle to escape the tractor beam of a McDonalds near Lancaster, I get there in good time. I’m also ridiculously pleased to get a series of texts from Clive asking how things are going and sending me a selection of his latest jokes; he may be down but he’s not out ! This is my first sight of Morecambe, and to be honest it’s not inspiring; it’s a cold, wet February morning, the tide is out, and all I can see as I drive along the seafront is miles of muddy shallows disappearing into the murk. With a shiver I remember that this was where a group of Chinese cockle – pickers were trapped by the incoming tide and drowned not that long ago. It’s grey, depressing stuff, and even the sight of town hero Eric Morecambe’s statue in classic “ Bring Me Sunshine “ pose can’t raise the spirits. I pull up to the gig to see the first problem of the day….last night’s duty manager has forgotten to take the lock off the bollard on the access road, so instead of being safely tucked in by the building with power hooked up and all systems humming, the bus is out on the main road being battered by driving wind and rain. To add to the overall ambience, a hideous denizen from the Ninth Circle Of Hell comes up ( you may also hear them referred to as “ traffic wardens” ) and happily slaps a ticket on the bus on the grounds that it’s causing an obstruction. The fact that the roads of the town are virtually deserted seems to have escaped this troglodyte’s notice, and unfortunately an attempt to explain our predicament merely prompts a swivel – eyed rant about rights of access and the sanctity of Her Majesty’s highways. I’m sure I also heard something about how we were all going to burn in eternal flames for having the temerity to park there, but I could have been mistaken. As soon as one of the venue staff finally comes along to let us in, however, the day takes a major turn for the better . The gig itself is a massive improvement on everything we’ve seen here so far…..it’s the old railway station, and the management have done a fantastic job of turning it into a cosy, quirky venue. House guys Shaun, Ron, Tom and Magic are friendly and helpful, and after a brew or four we’re warmed up and raring to go. It’s the band’s first day of using venue showers instead of having hotel rooms, and there’s a little bit of trepidation as to how they’ll deal with it, but apart from a few cases of terminal bed-head, they’re all fine. The set-up comes together quite quickly and the only casualty is the running board for the PA speakers which I spent several hours lovingly crafting earlier this week. After serving us well in Haverhill it finds the mean streets of Morecambe just too tough for it’s tender sensibilities, and promptly sheds two wheels as soon as it gets down the ramp. Epic fail….. The venue has been laid out for tonight in what’s known as cabaret style, in other words it’s tables and chairs rather than rows of seats; we did this once before in Bridlington and it worked really well. Tonight proves to be just as good; everyone is close to the stage, creating a nice, intimate atmosphere. Jamie’s voice is still suffering so we continue to run the slightly truncated show, and we realise that there’s a certain symmetry about the songs we’ve taken out….Go Now has gone now, She’s Not There isn’t there, and Elvis ( Suspicious Minds ) has left the building !There are about nineteen new songs being featured in full or in part, and there’s a second semi – acoustic medley been added, plus there are new outfits, new solo bits, new links and loads of new footage, so although it retains the essence of the regular show there’s plenty of different stuff for returning fans to enjoy. There are already songs that are showing early signs of becoming standout moments; a stomping version of Out Of Time closes the first half and Jamie does a fantastic job of Procol Harum’s Whiter Shade Of Pale ( or Skiffle Lie Fandangle , as it’s also known ), plus Phil’s twist on the Shadows is a corker…we may have dispensed with the Black Box Of Bafflement but the spirit of Hank still lives on !We’ve still to see Jamie’s new solo spot, and one song in the second medley can’t be done just yet as we’ve got to sort out some visual issues, but what we’ve got already is looking and sounding great, and the audience are lapping it up. For the second night running the show computer behaves itself, largely thanks to Tomps offering it a sacrifice of several pocket calculators and a digital watch, and apart from a couple of “ new cue “ visual glitsches the whole thing runs beautifully. Duty manager Shaun ensures that he earns legendary status after the show by giving us a big bag of doughnuts, sausage rolls and sandwiches for the bus, and so it’s a bunch of much happier campers who climb into their bunks and head south down the M6. As the bus pulls out there’s a bump from beneath the wheels and I look out the window to see what looks suspiciously like a traffic warden lying in the road where we’ve just been parked…….