Stevenage Gordon Craig Theatre Tues Feb 23rd

When you look at a tour itinerary and see those blessed words " Day off " your mind starts to flip through the multifarious possibilities this leisure time will offer you. You could start that correspondence course in Modern Sanskrit you've been meaning to do, or finally pick up War & Peace and read it cover to cover. You could go horseriding, windsurfing, sailing, or mountaineering, or even ( my personal favourite ) spend the day lying down with your face in a bowl of Lindor chocolate. Sadly the reality is much more mundane, and chances are you'll either try and deposit a few more hours in the Sleep Bank, or empty your tour bag and wash those dirty hoggers before they climb out and get in the machine by themselves. You might just mong out in front of the tube with your wife / girlfriend / boyfriend / stoat and have a Chinese takeaway. All of these things involve a degree of much - needed relaxation, and so days off are to be treasured. Where the wheel comes off, however, is when you a) don't get home until 5.00 that morning b) have to advance the next few shows c) and have all the tour paperwork to catch up on. Having spent the " day off " doing all of the above, Arthur and I are actually looking forward to the relaxation of another show and it's accompanying fifteen - hour day. After the relative downer of Weymouth, we're very happy that today's gig is just a kick up the arse away from home base, and is also in the very well-equipped Gordon Craig. It's got a nice flat load - in onto a BIIIIIIGGGG stage, loads of power, scads of lighting bars, an extremely helpful and efficient crew and we know it's sold well.....wiz zeez theatres you are spoiling us, Mr Ambassador ! Despite the fact that it's well below freezing outside and snowing constantly, we're a happy bunch today, bolstered by a couple of warm bags of Tesco's finest jam and custard doughnuts, and we've even finally christened the Kitchen Flightcase, which we've hauled unopened from venue to venue so far. It's full of tea, coffee and other delights, but we've not been able to use it as we haven't got around to buying any disposable cups. Nick manages to track some down, though, and soon we've got a proper little catering area on the go. With shows like this where there's an easy access and lots of room, everything gets put up quickly as you don't have to be going " After you, Claude" " NO, I insist, Ernest, after YOU " every time you walk across the stage. All your empty cases can be stored in the wings, and the spaghettifest of cables that make everything work is neatly run and out of the walkways. This speedy build means we sometimes get that rare beast after soundcheck, the Hour's Break, during which time we do those little chores like eating or maybe even trying to grab a nap, and so it proves today, so I get my toolkit and head to the theatre workshop to do a bit of maintenance work. Part of this involves putting new wheels on Phil's amp flightcase, and this little bit of carpentry neatly avoided the necessity to take a large axe to the bugger the next time we tried to roll it in or out of anywhere. For reasons known only to itself, the castors on this bloody thing will only roll in one direction, so Nick, being a resourceful sort of chap, had put a white gaffa tape arrow on top of the case, with the legend " Push This Way Only " on it. Clever stuff, you might think, and you'd be right, until the first time someone puts the lid on the wrong way round and you give the thing a big, manly shove towards the loading bay, only to come to a juddering halt after about six inches and being catapulted over the top of the case, barking your shins on the edge in the process. No, new wheels it is, or the thing's going to be taken out and shot at dawn. I'm also making an improvement to the Golden Box of Wonderment. Rather than just have it sit there in a cloud of haze, someone's come up with the wizard wheeze of actually piping the smoke directly into the box, so that it comes out of the box's holes when the internal light switches on. Eager to push the boundaries of hi - tech stage prop development, we grab a discarded vacuum cleaner hose and a few lengths of offcut aluminium tubing from a rubbish bin and set to with all the fervour of a Blue Peter presenter on crack. Amazingly, this scrapyard set - up works, and even Phil's impressed, though when he realises he has to dip his hand " blind " into a cauldron of smoke to retrieve the "Hank " glasses his enthusiasm wanes a little; perhaps he knows us too well and is already anticipating what kind of substitute articles we can put in there for his groping fingers to latch onto. As if we would.......Showtime rolls around, and we start our build - up ( stretching exercises, deep breathing, checking set lists, making sure the chocolate is within reach ). The house is looking good and they're also quite noisy, especially the three pissed women necking wine and beer straight from the bottle right in front of the PA on my side of the stage. These shy, retiring maidens are wearing t-shirts which proclaim them to be the " bitches " of an absent crew member, so we make a mental note to give him the Spanish Inquisition when we next see him. When the band come on the noise ratchets up even further, and we know we're in for a good 'un. We've still got the odd technical issue here and there but by and large we're on cruise control now. Right at the start of these blogs I made the point that the one thing we weren't worried about was the band themselves and their ability to deliver ( this was right before Den lost his voice and we had to cancel shows !!!! ) but I have to say that playing night after night has turned them into an even more fearsome proposition. They just seem to get better, and far from being jaded by continous playing, they're getting even stronger and more confident if such a thing's possible. Don't forget, constant touring's a very new thing for this band, which is used to working constantly but in short bursts. The links between the songs are slicker, and tonight they even throw in sharp, funny ad libs in response to banter from the crowd. They're totally nailing it night after night ( sorry.....that was pure " X Factor ", wasn't it ? Consider me suitably chastised ). We're only doing one encore as part of this tour but tonight, as with pretty much every night so far, the audience would have let the band play on and on. Always leave them wanting more, though, as the old theatrical saying goes, so it's " Thankyou and goodnight ! " then out to the foyer to sign autographs and meet the fans, friends and family. It's been a really good night, one of the best, and we even get three very pretty ( and fortunately clean ) lacy thongs thrown onto the stage, which is some kind of milestone " first " for the band, causing the lads to argue among themselves about who was the intended recipient of this shower of undergarments. Sadly these miniscule scanties didn't look QUITE so alluring stretched over Nick's ample posterior when he decided to wear them atop his jeans for the get - out. Not TOTALLY sure why he did this, but we'll be having a quiet word in the morning......We're playing another relatively local show tomorrow, so this takes the edge off the usual grind of the load - out. We've never done a show at tomorrow's venue, Harpenden Public Halls, and we've also had no technical comeback from them despite many, many calls and e-mails, but it's a regular, decent sized gig. What could POSSIBLY go wrong....?