Croydon Ashcroft Theatre Wed March 2nd

The last time we were here at the Ashcroft was on the final date of the 2010 tour, and I remember it being somehow anti-climactic, especially as the house was enforcing a rule whereby no-one was allowed to even stand up and dance in their seats without being taken out the back and beaten with rubber hoses by steroid – crazed heavies. A word with the management happily reveals that this is no longer the case; they’d
“ misinterpreted the licensing guidelines “, apparently. Where it said “ the paying audience should be allowed to express their appreciation and enjoyment of the evening’s entertainment in any appropriate way “, the management actually thought it said
“ anyone showing even the faintest vestige of enthusiasm will be swiftly and violently eliminated in the appropriate way “. An easy mistake to make, really. We’re in good company tonight, as Lenny Henry is playing the Fairfield Halls next door, so we might just sneak in for a chuckle. Today’s one of those days where we get lots of little niggling technical things going on like cables suddenly not working and noises coming out of places where they have right to come out of, but eventually everything’s up and running and we’re good to go. As Jamie’s voice has been getting stronger by the day the decision is made to put two of the “ dropped “ songs back in the set, though he’s unfortunately not confident enough yet to do his solo number. We sit him down and sympathetically tell him that this is fine, not to worry at all, but that if it’s not back in within a show or two we’re going to have to throw him out of the moving tour bus. Twice. The show goes up and he’s quickly on to one of his first real tests, “ Go Now “ ( or “Gonads” as is it somewhat childishly referred to by the crew ), but he sails through without a hitch, and it becomes clear early on that this is a crowd looking for a good night out. They obviously couldn’t find one in Croydon so they came to see us, but hey…you take your breaks where you can find them. For some reason on this tour it seems that the crunchier songs like You Really Got Me, Light My Fire and Pinball Wizard are going down best, though Whiter Shade has been a real winner too….guess it’s just not a song that people cover very much as the vocal is so difficult to nail properly. When You Really Got Me’s guitar riff kicks in tonight people actually scream in recognition, which is both gratifying and a little bit scary at the same time , and the second half just builds and builds….even the other acoustic section storms it, especially the “ Elvis Moment “ on Suspicious Minds. The acid test, of course, will be the dance party section….will the audience go for it, or will years of conditioned subjugation by the authorities keep them in their seats ? Steve kicks in the intro to Mony Mony and does his “ Get up off your seat and on your feet “ call, and bugger me, do they take notice !! At best we were expecting some gentle shimmying and clapping along, but no…with a roar a bunch of people stampede to the area in front of the stage where they proceed to wig out with almost mad abandon. There’s one oldish chap who is just banging the palms of his hands on the stage whilst bellowing along with the songs, and right in the middle is Really Should Know Better At His Age Man, who actually looks like he’s been wired directly into the National Grid. He treats us to a display of Dad-dancing of almost Olympian quality before getting totally lost in the moment, turning to his girlfriend and commencing what can only be politely termed “ heavy frottage “, with much pelvic thrusting., before he disappears into the melee of gyrating groovers. Their singalong stuff would grace the terraces of any football stadium, and at the end of the main set we’ve never heard cheers like it outside the Liverpool Philharmonic last year. It is, quite seriously, one of the best receptions we’ve ever had, and to be honest we’re all a bit stunned by it, so marked is the contrast from last year. Our only vague disappointment is that we didn’t improve on last year’s attendance figures, but a word with the management after puts things in perspective for us….next door, major star Lenny Henry, in his adopted home town, has only pulled a crowd of around 400. We’ve been hearing for a while that business is down in general all over the country, and this brings it home to us with a bang, so although we’ve not done massive numbers tonight, between ourselves and Lenny we’re DEFINTELY the happier of the two. A somewhat disturbed evening lies ahead for his tour accountant, methinks…..