Loughborough Town Hall Thurs March 3rd

A brief diversion, if you will indulge me, while I lift a corner of the curtain on the five – star rock and roll swankfest that is the process of touring at this level. We’re already waaaaay ahead of the last tour insofar as we’re travelling in a big double – decker tourbus. This really does become your home on wheels; you’ve got your comfy little bunk, there are a couple of lounges, a galley with microwave and fridge, a loo, at least two TVs with DVD player and usually a games console or two, so it’s not exactly slumming it in the back of a Transit. There are some drawbacks, however. For a start, the loo is downstairs from the bunks, and negotiating your way down the stairs of a moving bus when your bladder is screaming for blessed release is an interesting experience. There’s also the ubiquitous “ no logs in the bogs “ rule that applies to all tour buses, whereby you have to dispose of your….errr…solids, somewhere beyond the confines of the onboard khazi. Under normal circumstances this is quite manageable, but when you’ve partaken of a botty – scouring chicken madras from the Golden Bengal in a moment of drunken weakness, then, my friend, you are in for a night of buttock-clenching, eye-watering hell. There’s also the fact that you’ve got eleven or twelve blokes in fairly close proximity, and you can easily have a situation where someone in a back bunk just wants to go to sleep, whilst everyone else wants to recreate then last days of Caligula’s Rome in the rear lounge, and this can make for a somewhat tetchy atmosphere. Luckily there are no such wild excesses on this tour, and the most radical thing that’s likely to happen is when someone takes the last two slices of bread to make toast, or moves someone else's slippers, but you get my drift. There’s also the little issue of hygiene. I must admit that the Booties tour party is much more fragrant than the usual tribe of band and crew, and we’ve got more than a few who like nothing better than tidying up the kitchen and tutting when someone leaves a cup out after they’ve used it. This is all good stuff, and makes for a nice, clean bus. One thing we don’t have on board, however, is a shower, so we’re dependent on the venues having them. Most people tend to wake up, have a shower, get dressed and go about their daily business, but what happens with us, especially the crew, is that we wake up , get a couple of tea if we’re lucky then go straight to the load –in. The band have got the chance to shower during the day before or after soundcheck, but we don’t, so we try and grab one whenever we can. Often the only option is after the show, and this isn’t ideal when you’ve got a caretaker looking at his watch and muttering under his breath about how he's missing the Corrie omnibus or some such cobblers. When you’re touring as we are, one of the things that really makes a difference is when you go to a venue which makes you welcome, where the facilities are good and where you feel like you’re working with the people there rather than against them. We haven’t been anywhere yet ( even Stockport ! ) where we’ve had any problems, but I have to say that Loughborough Town Hall is one of those venues that you actively look forward to visiting as a crew. Kev and Andy, the house technicians, are two of the friendliest guys you’ll ever come across on the circuit. Nothing’s too much trouble for them, and they’ll do things like bring you tea and snacks without being asked, just because that’s the way they are. In the grand scheme of things this may not seem like very much, but believe me, this kind of hospitality is gold to us. They excel themselves today; apart from the statutory buckets of tea, they bring plates of sandwiches and posh nibbles that would be more at home on a Hampstead dining table than in the hands of six hairy – arsed road crew, but they totally hit the spot. To people who are used to dining on Ginster’s finest products at a motorway services at about three am, this is manna from heaven. Everything goes in and up really quickly today, and there’s also a vey nice backstage area where the band manage to get showered and changed, so all in all there’s a relaxed feel about today . Even the soundcheck slips by quickly, and we’ve got the rare bonus of a totally clear hour before the doors open. When we played here last year we got a really good crowd and a fantastic response, so we’re hoping that this year lives up to it. Sales have been good, too, so all the portents are in our favour, and another good sign is when the audience laugh and cheer at the film footage of the intro. Three songs in and we’re home and dry. The band just click into top gear, and on nights like this you can see why Elton John was so fulsome in his praise….they really ARE the best in the business, and the crowd play their part in making this one of the finest nights so far. We thought Croydon was our best reaction yet, but this has shaded it....