Worthing Assembly Hall Sat March 5th

Anyone who read last year’s tour blog may recall that I’ve got a personal reason for not liking this particular venue, and I must admit that the prospect of another visit here doesn’t really improve my usual jolly, sunny disposition. In fact, if it wasn’t for Ray, the splendid chap who is the technical manager for the hall, I’d be inclined to reach for the can of lighter fuel and matches and raze the place to the ground. That would probably take the shine off their day a bit, though, so I grit my teeth and get on with it. After two previous visits to the venue and slow advance sales this time it was looking as though we were destined never to do well here, but something odd has been going on recently. Ticket sales have taken a pretty hefty jump in just the last week, and all of a sudden we’ve doubled the audience we had last time. I’d actually been wondering if I could do a
“ rentacrowd” thing on some of the slower-selling shows, and had come up with the wizard wheeze of targeting the immigrant Polish community and billing the evening as a seminar on how to cheat the welfare system and the NHS; unfortunately they all already know, so it’d have been a total bust. There’s something else slightly odd about tonight, which is that it’s not only a big old stage, it’s split – level, too. What we’ve been trying to do up to now is keep the band close and on one level, as it makes for a more intimate and much less cluttered layout…we’ve even taken Steve off the drum riser we used last time out, and everyone’s preferring it. Here, however, the split is in such a place ( oo-err, missus…) that we have to have Steve, Chris and the second keyboard on the upper level. One thing that IS nice about it is that it gives you a little glimpse of what this could look like when we’re playing the big stages all the time, when this has become the most successful show of it’s kind in the world, when our every move is documented by a slavering media, when women of loose morals and looser clothing throw themselves at us at every turn, when heads of state, kings and queens fawn for our attention and ALL WILL HONOUR, LOVE AND FEAR US IN EQUAL MEASURE……err, so anyway, Worthing Assembly Hall….despite it being a bitterly cold night the audience is lively and warm, and despite the size of the hall this flows back to the stage and the band pick up on it. I’ve already mentioned how there was no ring-rustiness when the tour started, and everything clicked into place as though we’d been touring all the time. One of the side effects of this that I’m really enjoying is how relaxed the band are onstage, and this also communicates itself to the crowd. I’ve often felt that if a band looks like it’s enjoying itself onstage then the audience will pick up on this and a whole synergy takes place which is somehow mystical and cosmic and otherworldly and almost godlike in it’s intensity …..sorry, it’s been a long day…. There are some great new highlights appearing in the show such as the two acoustic medleys, Jamie’s reading of Whiter Shade and Phil’s Hank Marvin turn, and of course we’ve still got the big production numbers like Pinball Wizard and Hole In My Shoe / Strawberry Fields from last time, and it really does seem as though we’ve hit on a winning combination judging by the audience reactions. Tonight is no exception, and we have to pinch ourselves to remember that this is Worthing, bastion of the genteel, reserved and incontinent. There are people dancing in the side aisles long before we get to the Sixties party section, and when Steve finally exhorts the audience to get to it’s feet in Mony Mony there’s no second bidding needed, even the extremely old lady in the front row who looks like she doesn’t know where she is and has probably been getting flashbacks to the Blitz from our pyrotechnics. We’ve never had a reception like this here before, and so this one has got to go down as a major success for us. Den has family here tonight and they’re fulsome in their praise, as is the gaggle of fans who do the whole posing for photos with the band thing. In fact, despite all my initial misgivings, it’s been a really good day. We’re staying here overnight tonight too, so the plan is for everyone to pile into town after the show for beers and an infusion of lard from Ali’s All-Night Kebab & Botulism Emporium. Just as I leave the venue, however, there’s a little twitch, and I feel my hand close on the box of matches and can of lighter fuel in my pocket……