Public Halls Harpenden Monday Dec 3rd

Followers of these meanderings will possibly be able to recall our first visit to the Public Halls in Harpenden some three years ago. For anyone who wasn’t part of our happy little band back then, here’s a brief recap-ette. No-one at the venue knew we were coming, we were told we couldn’t use the lighting rig as it belonged to the local am-dram society, the truck was late because Clive, bless him, thought the gig was in Hoddesdon, not Harpenden, the power was so unstable that we spent the entire night expecting to be frazzled to a crisp, and the stage is the size of a weasel’s knickers. To cap it all, the tickets were sold through the Arena at St Albans, and when they sold their allocation of fifty or so, no-one there thought to ask for any more, so when fans went on line to try and buy a ticket they were told “ sold out “. As a result we had one of our lowest – ever attendances, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Three years on we’re much more hard-bitten about such shenanigans, and our attitude is a lot more “ Bring it on “, so we rock up ready to face whatever this little corner of Hertfordshire can throw at us. As it happens, much has changed. Whilst the stage is still as small as a lemur’s lingerie, the lights are now totally accessible, there seem to be more lighting bars for us to play with, and best of all, they have a really good house tech who is one of the best guys we meet on the entire tour. The improvements haven’t extended to being able to sell any actual tickets for the show, unfortunately, but then you can’t have it all, can you ? The only other thing we’d forgotten about was that the backstage is also very small, and as there’s no room onstage to store flight cases we have to use one of the dressing rooms and the back corridor. This swiftly takes on the properties of a giant game of Tetris, only with added swearing, but ends up with everything stacked in a neat pile, and we can at least move around. We’ve actually been a bit spoiled on this tour as the theatres have pretty much all had decent size stages and wings, so we’re struggling somewhat today. Nick’s got the toughest job as he has to find space for the second keyboard and the stools for the acoustic section; we suggest tearing a hole in the space – time continuum so he can store them in another dimension, but he says he’s left the tool for doing this in the van, so he’ll just have to cram things in where he can. There’s a fair bit of vitriol flying around when it becomes apparent just how poorly the venue have sold the show, even though our numbers are up on last time, but these are things to be re-examined in the cold light of day and with all the information to hand. Our take on things is that we always put on the best show, no matter how many people are sitting in front of us. It IS hard for the band sometimes…..it can’t be a lot of fun when the lights come up and there are a hundred or so faces scattered about the theatre….but this is how the show will develop, as people who see it pass the word on. If we go at it half – arsed, the audience will know, and they’ll ( rightly ) be insulted, so we have to treat every night like it’s Wembley. Den in particular has become very astute at reading the audiences each night, and he can call out small changes to the band that help keep things moving without compromising the overall impact. As they kick into From Me To You tonight, we get a sharp reminder of just how powerful this band is when you’re seeing them at such close quarters, and if even half of this power is funnelling off the stage and into the hall, then the audience are in for a belter tonight. I’m so close to Phil that I’m impulsively ducking my head every time he swings the guitar neck round, and when the pyrotechnics go off at the start of Pinball Wizard I actually feel the heat of the flashpots. It’s also LOUD…..Steve’s assault on his drumkit is nothing short of GBH and the roar from Phil’s amp manages to divide my brain into multi – coloured splinters, whilst the subterranean rumbling of Den’s bass is threatening to do dastardly things to my bowels….and all this is while I’m wearing double – muff headphones which fully cover my ears ! I think the only time I can actually hear Jamie tonight is during his stellar solo turn on Handbags & Gladrags, whilst Chris may as well be capering about behind an ironing board for all that I can hear of him, but the crowd are clearly loving it, so we’re doing SOMETHING right. This is actually one of the most vociferous crowds of the tour, despite their meagre numbers….they whoop, hoot, holler and cheer the whole way through, and go totally banzai when the Christmas Special is trotted out at the very end. There had been talk of suggesting a second encore number, but tonight isn’t the night; the band aren’t happy about the poor promotion job and so they finish things up as normal. We have a brief discussion afterwards about tonight and how to avoid such situations in the future, but the crew are champing at the bit to get the gear down and out, so we leave things for now…..straight after a gig is never the best time for reasoned discussion anyway….and start playing Chinese Puzzles again to try and get everything back in it’s cases and out the door. It’s bitter cold again tonight and the van ramps are slippery and treacherous, so I do the sensible thing and pretend to have an attack of malaria so I don’t have to go outside. Unfortunately my crewmates are nasty, cynical human beings and don’t believe me for a moment, so I find myself grumpily chucking stuff around in the back of a van. Honestly, they’ve got no compassion for a broken old man, these youngsters. They’ll be sorry when I’m laid up with pneumonia, pleurisy and galloping dog-rot……