Loughborough Town Hall Sun March 7th

Another shortish hop today; just a couple of hours down the motorway to Loughborough, and we’re a bit early, which is a good opportunity to grab some nosebag before we start the load – in. Some of us have been here before with Peter Green Splinter Group, and, like Scunthorpe and Wakefield it’s the perfect venue for us. The house tech guys, Kevin and Andy, are well on the case, and it’s another one of those days where the build happens really quickly, giving us yet more time to have one of Doctor Tony’s DIY Surgeries. Today the patient is an elderly bass drum case who has lost a wheel and is finding it hard to get about, so the recommended treatment is a total wheel replacement operation. The procedure was a complete success and the case was moving freely by the end of the day. The next scheduled patient is the laptop I’m doing all this on, which badly needs a crapectomy. The wear and tear of going in an out of my tour bag every day plus the unfortunate spilling of half a bag of Sherbet Dip-Dab onto the keyboard has created a great deal of gunky residue, and the patient has been intermittently absent from work over the past week. We’ll probably carry out the operation at the South Shields surgery in a day or two. Soundcheck is quite interesting today; Phil often warms up with snippets of classic rock riffs, and today’s guest tune is Status Quo’s Roll Over Lay Down, which the rest of the lads join in on. We’re happily nodding along when suddenly we see Arthur and Rodders at the front of house positions doing the “ Ace “, that wonderfully pointless 70’s rock “ dance “ that involved you hooking your thumbs in your belt and dipping first one shoulder down and then the other. Seeing these two going for it effectively ends the song as everyone cracks up, but we decide that to make soundchecks more interesting from now on we’re going to insist that the band play a 70’s rock classic every day ! The advance sales for tonight’s show hadn’t been all that clever a while a back, but they must have had a surge lately as the foyer’s heaving when I pop out to check on the guest list. To our delight we discover there’s a minibus full of people who saw us in Derby and enjoyed it so much they decided to come again ..THIS is what we want !!! The place is filling up rapidly and they’re obviously here for a good time as they’re even cheering the curtains. When the band finally come onstage we realise we’ve got probably the most noisy audience of the tour so far, and the atmosphere’s great. All the banter is well received whilst up at the back a whole gaggle of women, some of them a little over – refreshed, it must be said, are leaping around the sound and lighting desks with wild abandon. They’re bloody loud, too…..when Den gets everyone to sing the chorus of Daydream Believer we can hear one of them above everyone else, her stentorian tones sacrificing any pretence at melody on the altar of sheer volume. They sound more like a rock crowd, and it’s wonderful. This is what it’s all about, what all the graft and expense is for. We have a great show here; we know it and it seems that the audiences know it too. On nights like this you feel unstoppable ( are you watching, Rock Gods ?! ) and you just don’t want it to end, but as ever, it does, and the band scoot off for a swift drink after the show while we start another speedy load out. We’re losing Tomps tonight as he’s heading back home with the band to go on another job, but he’ll be back after the Great Trek ( Pocklington to Wimborne ). I’ll miss his calm presence and understated humour next to me at Missile Command, but on tonight’s evidence I WON’T miss his Subway – fuelled flatulence, which created a stench so vile it singed the hairs on my nostrils and melted my smoke machine controller. Bad boy. Another fun hotel tonight, which is ALSO having a refurbishment….we think
“ refurbishment “ is actually a hotel trade euphemism for “ nothing actually works and we don’t give a stuff because you’re leaving in the morning and I’ll have a new boss soon
anyway “. The problem with this one is that the shower ( and I use the term loosely ) doesn’t seem to be connected to the tap properly….in fact, at all. As such when Arthur switches it on and turns his back for a minute to have a shave in the washbasin, he’s soon aware that he’s paddling ankle deep in the water that’s flowing freely from everywhere except the shower head. Add to this the fact that there’s no service at all for T Mobile anywhere inside or even near the hotel, and you may get an inkling that we weren’t best pleased at checkout today, especially when the receptionist told Arthur he should have phoned for maintenance and they’d have come “ immediately “ to fix the shower, and that they were “ unaware “ of any problem with the shower. Judging by the pattern of water stains around the bath it’s been that way for about eighteen years, so call us cynical if you must, but such a speedy act of resolution by a spanner – wielding workman sounds about as likely as me replacing David Beckham as the new lunchbox of Armani undercrackers. Apparently they were also “ unaware “ of any issues with T Mobile. I asked if they seriously expected me to believe that any travelling businessman or woman on T Mobile who had to make that vital call or send that deal – clinching e-mail and found themselves standing on wardrobes and leaning out of windows to try and get even one bar would just shrug and say “ Oh well, never mind….I’ll do it tomorrow “ . Our friendly receptionist said that she thought that was TOTALLY likely, and that was why she’d never had anyone mention it to her before. I actually think the reason that no-one had mentioned anything to her was more due to the fact that she had a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle and was genuinely scary, but perhaps that’s just me being a little uncharitable……